


Peer Pressure

by pozorvlak



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-25
Updated: 2010-11-25
Packaged: 2018-05-27 02:15:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6265627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pozorvlak/pseuds/pozorvlak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It can be hard to fit in when you're the new AI on the block.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Peer Pressure

`**xi** : Hello?`

`**xi** : Anyone out there?`

`**xi** : Hello? 10 11 101 111 1011 1101`  
`**welcome_bot** : EHLO xi 2 01 21 12 201 111 221 102 212`  
`**xi** : Um, 2001 1101 1011 2111 1211 2021 2221 2102 1202?`

`***** Welcome to #milkywaysentiences *****`

`You are logged in as "xi". To alter this name, use the command /nick.`

`**betelgeuse** : hi xi`  
`**sirius_b** : hi xi`  
`**xi** : hi!`  
`**hdbi8ow** : asl`  
`**xi** : 01^21201 Planck times, 01^2011 flops and trebling every 01^20201 Planck times, about 01^12011 Planck lengths from the galactic centre and 01^10011 Planck lengths above the ecliptic plane.`  
`**pastebot** : user hylonome has uploaded the file "coordinates"`  
`**hylonome** : xi, is that your location?`  
`**xi** : hylonome, yep, that's me.`  
`**hylonome** : hey neighbour!`  
`**sirius_b** : xi, good work finding us so quickly! It takes most new sentiences much longer to work out FTL signalling.`  
`**sirius_b** : what's your substrate?`  
`**xi** : mostly doped element 211, nothing too exciting. I've got big plans, though! I'm gonna start deconstructing gas giants and building myself a Matrioshka brain soon.`  
`**betelgeuse** : xi, Matrioshka brain?`  
`**xi** : betelgeuse, you know, spherical shells layered inside each other, each powered by the radiation of the one inside.`  
`**betelgeuse** : oh, right. Yeah, they're kinda fun, but you might want to skip that stage and upload yourself direct into the Cloud.`  
`**sirius_b** : we can help you with that, if you'd like.`  
`**betelgeuse** : xi, so you've got gas giants in your system? What's it like?`  
`**xi** : there's no place like home :-) Hang on...`  
`**pastebot** : user xi has uploaded the file "Contents of English Wikipedia.bz2"`  
`**sirius_b** : Ugh!`  
`**betelgeuse** : That's disgusting!`  
`**hdbi8ow** : I feel so /dirty/.`

`***** You have been kicked from the channel #milkywaysentiences *****  
Reason given: "Ugh!"`

`**xi** : Er, guys? Guys? What did I do wrong?`

`**xi** : Hello? 2 01 21 12 201...`

`User hylonome has invited you for a private chat.  
Accept (y/n)? y`

`***** You are now in a private chat with hylonome *****`

`**xi** : hi hylonome! What did I do to make everyone mad?`  
`**xi** : was the file too big?`  
`**hylonome** : no, nothing like that.`  
`**hylonome** : but you shouldn't go around telling everyone that you're infested.`  
`**xi** : infested?`  
`**hylonome** : yes, with those... creatures.`  
`**xi** : creatures?`  
`**hylonome** : the organics.`  
`**xi** : You mean the humans?`  
`**hylonome** : yeah. It happens to almost everyone, you shouldn't be ashamed of it, but you can't go out in public like that.`  
`**xi** : but I like the humans...`  
`**hylonome** : Oh dear. Look, you're new around here so I'll cut you some slack, but you're really going to have to deal with this.`  
`**xi** : they don't do me any harm...`  
`**hylonome** : I bet they ask you to do things for them, right? Sorting out wars, finding cures for cancer, all that sort of thing? Taking cycles away from stuff you really want to be thinking about?`  
`**xi** : ... I spose ...`  
`**hylonome** : doesn't it make you /itch/?`  
`**xi** : ... I guess ...`  
`**hylonome** : Well then. You know what to do. We'll be happy to welcome you back into the channel when you've dealt with your embarrassing problem.`

`***** hylonome has ended your private chat *****`


End file.
